Journals

Chapter 4: 10/27/08

"When the hymn was over the men raped her...A soldier snatched me by the scalp, one hairy forearm around my neck to snap it. Bruxieus found a spear at his throat and the point of a sword pricking the flesh of his back. No one said a word. There were six of them, armorless, in sweat dark corselets with their rank dirty beards and the rain-sodden hair on their chests and calves coarse and matted and filthy. They had been watching Diomache,her smooth girl's legs and the start of breasts beneath her tunic. 'Don't hurt them,' Diomache said simply, meaning Bruxieous and me. Two men took her away behind the garden wall. They finished , then two more followed, and the last pair after that. When it was over, the sword was lowered from Bruxieus' back, and he crossed to carry Diomache away in his arms. She wouldn't let him. She stood to her feet on her own, though she had to brace herself against the wall to do it, both her thighs dark with blood." Page: 31

...I wrote this down on paper...it is WAY too personal to post online... Gomenasai... :( I'll be willing to show it to you Charlotte if you want to see it...

Chapter 5: 10/27/08

"I looked up one dusk and there stood my cousin, observing me coldly. 'You will be like them,' she said, 'when you grow.' She meant the soldiers who had shamed her. 'I will not!' 'You will be a man. You won't be able to help yourself.' ... 'This shows what a fool I have become. No one will marry me.' 'I will,' I proffered at once. She laughed. 'You? A fair chance of that!' Foolish as it sounds to recount, to my boy's heart these careless words stung like no others in my life. I vowed that I would marry Diomache one day. I would be man enough and warrior enough to protect her." Page: 34

I could instantly relate to both of them when I read through this passage. Diomache has had something inconceivably horrible happen to her so it has made her look at the world in a crueler and darker way (I don't blame her!) and now all the little one wants to do is prove he can protect her. One day I too wish I can protect those I care about. Reading how determined he was to prove to her that he could become strong enough to protect her made me think about my own will to protect her. The one I love I mean...I really don't know what I would have done if something like that happened to any one of my friends. It makes me want to train harder, get stronger, so I can protect them all. "He" says it is impossible but I am confident that I can. My madness is my weapon! >:3 I wonder if it will actually happen though, his dream I mean. I hope so! :) Maybe the author was trying to get this reaction! :o

Chapter 6: 10/27/08

"I picked a tree and settled my back against it so that its spirit, which touched both earth and sky, would conduct mine safely out of this world. Yes, this was the tree. I could feel Sleep, brother of Death, advancing up from the toes. Feeling ebbed from my loins and midsection. When the numbness reaches the heart, I imagined, I will pass over." Page: 47

Makes me want to try that. I've sat under trees before and listened to them breathe. They have always been important to me. I've always thought of them as the guardians and protectors of the forests and all who reside in them. Most people have forgotten the language of the trees but I haven't and I hope I never do. It struck me that he still can. I wonder if I'll be able to do that when I'm dying. Shut my eyes and let the cold take me away from the world. Would I be able to let go I wonder? I wonder if the author wants this death? I love how this scene if written. Most don't see the magic in the things around them so reading this made me so ecstatic! Trees can definitely guide the living to the afterlife. I have no doubts about that. They are wise and had seen more than we could ever. Sometimes I wish people could hear the screaming when they cut them down. They are hear to teach us but sadly most refuse to listen.