POETIC MADNESS O_<

The Bird Song Of My Life.

I once saw
A beautiful sunset
Unlike anything seen



A bird flew
Into the distance
Far from view



Telling me I
Can change my
Life if wanted



Flying higher and
Higher I can
Change my life.



Fly with the
Cool breeze the
Bird beside me




Nothing to stop
Our flight nothing
In this life



Flying higher and
Higher I can
Change my life.

In a poet's mood...and cannot sleep X)

Forgotten Flowers Of Springs Passed.

Leaves break from
The wise trees
In hopes anew

New flowers will
Bloom this spring
The old ones

Forgotten with time
Have fallen long
Ago to winter

Will I eventually
Be forgotten by
The ones I

Love the most
As the flowers
Of passed springs
Are forgotten too

Am I really
Important to you
Am I precious

To you my
Love do you
Love me too

Or will I
Too be forgotten
Like flowers passed

Journals

Chapter 4: 10/27/08

"When the hymn was over the men raped her...A soldier snatched me by the scalp, one hairy forearm around my neck to snap it. Bruxieus found a spear at his throat and the point of a sword pricking the flesh of his back. No one said a word. There were six of them, armorless, in sweat dark corselets with their rank dirty beards and the rain-sodden hair on their chests and calves coarse and matted and filthy. They had been watching Diomache,her smooth girl's legs and the start of breasts beneath her tunic. 'Don't hurt them,' Diomache said simply, meaning Bruxieous and me. Two men took her away behind the garden wall. They finished , then two more followed, and the last pair after that. When it was over, the sword was lowered from Bruxieus' back, and he crossed to carry Diomache away in his arms. She wouldn't let him. She stood to her feet on her own, though she had to brace herself against the wall to do it, both her thighs dark with blood." Page: 31

...I wrote this down on paper...it is WAY too personal to post online... Gomenasai... :( I'll be willing to show it to you Charlotte if you want to see it...

Chapter 5: 10/27/08

"I looked up one dusk and there stood my cousin, observing me coldly. 'You will be like them,' she said, 'when you grow.' She meant the soldiers who had shamed her. 'I will not!' 'You will be a man. You won't be able to help yourself.' ... 'This shows what a fool I have become. No one will marry me.' 'I will,' I proffered at once. She laughed. 'You? A fair chance of that!' Foolish as it sounds to recount, to my boy's heart these careless words stung like no others in my life. I vowed that I would marry Diomache one day. I would be man enough and warrior enough to protect her." Page: 34

I could instantly relate to both of them when I read through this passage. Diomache has had something inconceivably horrible happen to her so it has made her look at the world in a crueler and darker way (I don't blame her!) and now all the little one wants to do is prove he can protect her. One day I too wish I can protect those I care about. Reading how determined he was to prove to her that he could become strong enough to protect her made me think about my own will to protect her. The one I love I mean...I really don't know what I would have done if something like that happened to any one of my friends. It makes me want to train harder, get stronger, so I can protect them all. "He" says it is impossible but I am confident that I can. My madness is my weapon! >:3 I wonder if it will actually happen though, his dream I mean. I hope so! :) Maybe the author was trying to get this reaction! :o

Chapter 6: 10/27/08

"I picked a tree and settled my back against it so that its spirit, which touched both earth and sky, would conduct mine safely out of this world. Yes, this was the tree. I could feel Sleep, brother of Death, advancing up from the toes. Feeling ebbed from my loins and midsection. When the numbness reaches the heart, I imagined, I will pass over." Page: 47

Makes me want to try that. I've sat under trees before and listened to them breathe. They have always been important to me. I've always thought of them as the guardians and protectors of the forests and all who reside in them. Most people have forgotten the language of the trees but I haven't and I hope I never do. It struck me that he still can. I wonder if I'll be able to do that when I'm dying. Shut my eyes and let the cold take me away from the world. Would I be able to let go I wonder? I wonder if the author wants this death? I love how this scene if written. Most don't see the magic in the things around them so reading this made me so ecstatic! Trees can definitely guide the living to the afterlife. I have no doubts about that. They are wise and had seen more than we could ever. Sometimes I wish people could hear the screaming when they cut them down. They are hear to teach us but sadly most refuse to listen.

Election of 2008

Okay, I have not been following the election much so I'll do my best!

The last presidential debate was actually the first one I saw and from my perspective, McCain was acting like a child. The looks he gave Obama as he spoke were absolutely ridiculous. Also when Obama said that 100% of McCain's campaigns were negative he tried to say they weren't. I've seen his campaigns on the television and even I could see that was a lie. It seems that McCain is more concentrated on ways he can make Obama look bad than what he is going to do about the issues our nation has. Hence this...




Also McCain seems to say whatever is convenient at the time...




Clearly he is not fond of owning up to what he said if it is not what the people he is with want to hear. Very interesting don't you agree?

After seeing the debate and watching these videos I really dislike McCain. It seems that he cannot own up to what he says if it means risking his popularity.

There is also a rumor I'd like to address about McCain and Palin calling Obama a terrorist. It is causing people to think that Obama is actually one. Due to these comments many people are more like a "McCain mob" then anything else.



See? I also want to bring up something Palin said, "I'm sure that some will say, 'Jeez, they're getting kinda negative' no it's not negativity it's truthfulness." Is it really??? Judging from all the things McCain has said about Obama that have been PROVEN false does she have any right to bold face lie? No.

I have lost all respect for McCain as of now. How can we trust someone like him as our next president when he cannot even tell the truth? How can we trust a president who behaves like a child. How can we trust a man who preys on the ignorance of the people to get the votes? How can we trust McCain? The answer: we CANNOT.

Visit therealmccain.com
to find out more.

Also visit http://www.nick.com/shows/specials/kpp_07/
to cast your vote for president! :)

Hot N Cold!!! :D

This is awesome beyond compare! Made by SapphireStar26

:3 Good Night and Go :3

I love this video and it makes me smile :) ChappiRukia makes the best videos ever ^///^

I'm Scared...

I'm scared of what I hear and I'm scared of what I see
I never thought I'd be this way
All the thoughts colliding at once.
All the emotions crashing together like the waves crash to shore.
All my worries all my cares
Will never leave me no matter how much I try and will them away
Why am I so incapable of feeling?
Why am I afraid to expose my heart?
I envy humans but I hate them also.
I hold on to naive hopes when I know it won't come true.
I can't make everyone happy
I can't absorbed all the worlds problems.
If I stay in the darkness forever will I stop all the agony?
Can I take it all away and take the world's pain to the grave?
Take it all inside and claw out my own throat?
Fall on the blade.
End the sorrow and the pain I see the people I care about in?
What do I do to make you happy?
What do you want me to do?
I'll do anything...
Am I a good girl?
Am I a good girl?
Am I a good girl?
Am I a good girl?
Say I'm a good girl...
Why do you say what you don't mean?
Do you know me for real?
Can you say you know me?
If I disappeared tomorrow and you never saw me again could you really say you'd care.
I'm just a girl in a world of many.
I'm no different than any other.
I fade.
I rip.
I tear.
Nothing but an old photo.
A worthless scrap.
I'm sorry.
I'm so selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
Selfish.
I cling to others like a vine.
Needing to be supported by the trees.
Needing to be paid attention to like a child.
I'm scared .
Scared.
Scared.
Scared.
Scared.
Scared.
Scared.
Like a child left alone in the dark.

英雄サンを参加させなさい!

ENTER HERO~SAN!!!! This is Estanfania and she is my hero and friend. The reason she is my hero is because of her kindness and perseverance. You see, she gives me hope because she went through what I did and came out on top! She was bullied for being herself but never gave up and somehow managed to pull herself out of her misery and smile. She learned that being herself was not a bad thing and that the world is not as dark as it seems. She gives me the courage to try and live my life with a smile and be myself no matter what people think!

Picture: 私は永久に愛する (I Love You Forever)

Alright here I go!!!! The reason I LOVE this photo is because when I first saw it I smiled. I really don't know why but it made me so happy because I think these two are so cute together. (except and rejoice!!!) Maybe I like this so much because I love to see people happy and this picture makes my heart get all warm because you can just see how happy they are from their faces. :) I believe that you fall in love with who you fall in love with despite their gender and if you're happy together nothing else matters. :) It gives me hope you could say. Hope that maybe one day people will see love as love regardless of who's involved. :)

Says a lot doesn't it??? To me this particular picture says that despite what people might find acceptable these two are not afraid to be in love. :) It shows just how much they care about one another and how happy they are together. It shows a rare softer side to the two as characters and shows feelings that the two hardly ever express. MORNING MAGIC! :D It just feels like a precious moment between them and says that just maybe, their love will last forever.

Final Fantasy VII Advent Children - Valentine's Day

*Cries eyes out* Anyway I love this video and the song and I just wanted to share this because I love it. Please enjoy :) P.S. san5772 on youtube made this so props to them!

Preview, Predict, Code :) Yay~! <3

1. How accurate were your predictions?

Actually they were very accurate! I was surprised that I actually did guess as much as I did but then again maybe it was just an obvious prediction I don't really know. (ha ha *nervous chuckling*) BEHOLD TOBI, CAPTAIN OBVIOUS XD!!!

2. Which predictions were very accurate? Describe.

All of them were accurate but the most accurate one would have to be "how do you think the story will start" because I actually guessed that the book would start with a quote about bees and on the first page, low and behold, an epigraph but it was close enough to a quote XD!!! HURRAY!!! :D Also I thought that I would enjoy the book in the beginning and that ended up being right to. <3 class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">loveles this book.

3. Which predictions were less accurate? What were the differences between what you predicted and what actually happened?

Well my prediction about what the book was going to be about was too general and I only focused on the fact that it might take place in a historic period. XP I was surprised about how good the book was considering it was focused so much on bees :P. Gosh I rambled way too much about it being realistic fiction DX. Also I was wrong about everything pertaining to a historical event. While the book did mention some historic events it was not solely focused on them at all.

Well that's it!!!! 8D Sayonara~

Good Enough by Evanescence

So artistic...

My Immortal and Lithium by Evanescence

She sings so beautifully...I love what she says.

October by Evanescence

I found this song fitting since it's now October... P.S. I did not make this Kaorusmine on youtube did :)

Fields of Innocence by Evanescence

This song speaks to me...

Literary Device Of The Week: Alliteration, Assonance, and Consonance...This weekend I had a weird (understatment) dream... O_o'

A devastating dream was dreamt on the dreary night of my Saturday as I slept with the soft sound of rain hitting the roof. Darkness all around me dragging me into the depths of my own despair. Hands that reached out from the paintings on the hollow white walls held me tight with no hope of ever loosening their hold. Screaming and scratching I struggled to save myself from the situation I was in. Escaping from this eternal agony seemed entirely pointless. It felt as though I had already had been defeated by the endless dark. Just as I was about to surrender and let the hands pull me asunder their grasp suddenly disintegrated into the walls as they returned to the paintings in which they came. Gasping and groping for something to keep me steady I was surprised to see a slender hand reach down toward me. I was suddenly suspicious of this hand but too weak to refuse it's wonderful gift. Clutching it I tried to keep my balance but as I rose my legs failed me and buckled letting me fall forward. I now felt a body attached to the hand that held me steady and whispered words in my ear that I could not decipher in my desperate state. Tears rolled down my face as my faith failed me and fear found it's way into the farthest corners of my heart and mind. Please don't hurt me... I thought pleadingly feeling as powerless as a wounded bird unable to fly. Please don't hurt me...

Timid and terrified as a rabbit surrounded by salivating wolves I wobbled forward trying to wander away from my savior. "Why are you afraid?" an unfamiliar voice question me from beyond. In every way the voice sounded benevolent but to my weary mind the sound of a pin dropping could be a cause of caution. "Do you not wish to save her?" another more masculine voice chimed in. Save who? I thought thoroughly puzzled as my exhausted eyes scanned the empty walls around me. As though the two had read my mind they both spoke simultaneously, "The one you hold dear." The room shattered in on itself and it fell away like glass hit by a stone leaving me to ponder the predicament I was in. Who am I supposed to save? The wind blew violently as the thought surfaced in the ocean that was my mind whipping my hair in a frenzy around my face. I looked to the sky to see the slick outline of a colossal raven over my head; it's dark feathers barely visible in the darkness that enveloped him. Landing on the imaginary ground below our feet his head dipped down in front of me and he spoke unimaginably low as he said, "Come..." "I will take you there..." I stared at this creature unable to react. How can I trust him? then, without warning, he let out a screech as he threw himself in the air and with his talons lifted me by the shoulders into the air.

I did not scream; I didn't find any need to as we soared over the silent scenery that existed only within my mind. He was taking me to the person "I hold dear" but which one? There are many who are precious to me...It seemed like we had been flying for months when we finally descended on the sickeningly silent ground of a round room completely shrouded in white with many doors. As he released me from his grasp I spun around taking in every detail. "I can only bring you here" the raven I had considered a friend spoke up, "However, the door which you choose to enter is up to you..." With that he began to disappear into a flurry of feathers so black that they seemed purple against the white of the room. "Wait!" I yelled frantically. "How will I know which one?" "Choose with your heart..." came a resounding echo of the raven that once was. "Not with your eyes..." When the echo ceased to exist the feathers fell to the floor creating a dark circle all around me. I could not cry for my nonexistent friend as I gently scooped up one of the many feathers around me and lightly traced it's outline with the tip of my index finger. Choose with my heart, not my eyes...Squeezing my eyes shut I spun around inside the dark circle and repeated the raven's words repeatedly within my mind. Choose with your heart, not with your eyes. Chose with your heart, not with your eyes...THAT ONE! I thought, eyes snapping open as I ran for the door I was now facing. Roughly turning it's black knob I swung it open and ran inside only to be greeted by emptiness as my foot lunged into the nothingness of the dark; I was falling.

A slight scream escaped my lips as I plummeted into the unknown below. Stay calm and believe...you did what he told you. My body soon slammed against a cold hard marble floor with bone jarring impacted that sent the air rushing from my lungs in an oooofff. I was so sure I was gone; there was just no way I could survive such a fall was there? I stood up and marveled at the fact that I hadn't broken anything or killed myself. Perhaps listening to an abnormally large raven that can talk was a bad idea...I began to analyze my surroundings once again when my eyes caught sight of the only light I could see; it looked like the light of a firefly. Flying toward me it circled around me, wrapping it's thin golden wire around my body and flew into the distance once more. "Follow me..." Came a whisper quieter than that of a small breeze. "Follow me..." Running after it as fast as I could it led me through twists and turns until it flew high above my head and enveloped the outline of a large round bird cage high in the air. "Here..." it began to whisper once more. "Here..." it flew down in a spiral to reveal a rope leading to the cage. Pausing it waited for me to take hold of the rope and when I had it secure in my hands I began to haul myself up higher and higher. I'm coming for you whoever you are...I'm coming to save you.

When my hands could no longer feel anymore rope to climb the firefly zoomed forward revealing the figure of a person inside the cage off to the side curled into a ball. "Hello!" I called to the unknown person. "I'm going to get you out!" The figure shifted and sat up revealing a masked face. Startled I almost lost grip of the rope that keep me suspended in the sky. Crawling closer the figure seemed to study through painted eyes as I felt a key being placed in my hand. Looking down in the midst of the blackness I saw a hand reaching out from the bars of the cage; the persons hand. With more help form the firefly I unlocked the cage and held out one arm as the cage door stood ajar. "I'm here to save you." I said instantly feeling foolish and self conscience. After all I was no prince charming. Hesitantly the person that I now saw was a girl took my hand and hung on tight as we made our descent into the darkness once more. That is when the rope snapped and we fell in what seemed like slow motion; the firefly illuminating the face of the precious person whose mask had now been lost. My eyes widen and my heart seemed to stop as she stared at me through calm and emotionless eyes. I studied her face once more. You...I thought, feeling as though I was coming to a new realization. You are the one I have longed to protect all along. I touched her cheek wishing with all my heart that we could remain together like this forever. It was not to be; we hit the ground and it turned to water, immersing us both in it's clear splendor. Deeper and deeper we sank into the frigid water as I looked at her once more. "The protector and the protected will die together, destinies meant to be intertwined." My gaze shot up to see the dark outline of a shadow looking down to us. "That is how it must be." I did not have time to respond for that is when I woke in a cold sweat; safe in my bed once more. Jashin I have problems...I thought as I turned over to my side and looked at the clock. 5:03 A.M.

Yep...this weekend I had the craziest and best dream of my life...EXCEPT IT AND REJOICE!!! :D

Wishing I was a Puppy...

Do you know why puppies are so lucky? They can cuddle someone they care about when they're upset and not look like a complete creeper... :( That's one of the main reasons I wish I was one. If I was a puppy would I be able to comfort the ones I love better? Sometimes when my friends are upset I don't know what to say. Sometimes I just want to hug them or snuggle them to make them feel better but am too afraid to because I don't know if I'll just make it worse. :(

What can I say? I have never been good at talking to people when they're upset. I suppose that not everyone wants to be hugged when they're upset. When I was little sometimes I just wanted to be hugged and even now I still feel this way. I wouldn't consider myself a "touchy feely" person but hugs just make me feel wanted. I'm like a puppy in the sense that I can't stand to be alone. I get sad and start thinking about the sadness.

I've been told by many to stop acting like a puppy but I can never seem to...something deep inside makes me act this way and I feel that I will lose a part of myself if I do. Behaving like this is a way for me to express how much I care and sometimes I even end up licking people's cheeks or cuddling up to them. I don't mean to be clingy or weird I just find this to be an easier way of expressing my love or concern.

I know...I'm a silly girl but it's better than not being able to show how I feel or be able to reach out at all. So far I have not licked anyone and I've been trying to behave more like a normal human being but I really don't know how much longer I'll be able to. After all, seeing one of my friends upset triggers this feeling to well up inside of me and make me feel I need to comfort them.

I worry about my friends when they get upset and I want them to smile. :) Sometimes actions really do speak louder than words.